I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
