we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
