i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
how drunk are you?
Several
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
