i think my tv is drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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