drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
