And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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