i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i dont even know how to be here
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
