i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
