She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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