im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
