YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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