when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
