Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
