Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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