Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
