Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
