yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
