Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Drake has all the answers
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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