I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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