If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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