i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
