I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
