it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
false alarm, still single
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
