i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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