hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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