I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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