What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
