the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
