so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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