what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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