Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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