how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he fucked my hip out of place.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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