the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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