My nipple is on Facebook.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He has the fingertips of a God
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