Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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