If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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