I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
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I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering