So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We are two peas in an std pod
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
