Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.

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(781): Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there? (603): Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die. http://tfl.nu/1bcd

Replies (12) Good night (1206) Bad night (490)
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(970): View more from Colorado

she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.

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(970): she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society. http://tfl.nu/p2lg

Replies (74) Good night (757) Bad night (2668)
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(646): View more from New York

The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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(646): The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song. http://tfl.nu/nwvh

Replies (87) Good night (4100) Bad night (1068)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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(604): i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later. http://tfl.nu/i15d

Replies (41) Good night (851) Bad night (6952)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

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(203): Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that. http://tfl.nu/1tq2

Replies (39) Good night (3394) Bad night (5471)
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(516): View more from New York

any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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(516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g

Replies (15) Good night (4487) Bad night (840)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.

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(501): I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please. http://tfl.nu/vb3l

Replies (9) Good night (4436) Bad night (972)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.

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(603): nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment. http://tfl.nu/rfmt

Replies (4) Good night (2188) Bad night (934)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.

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(614): Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles. http://tfl.nu/gha2

Replies (10) Good night (2498) Bad night (540)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him

(307): View more from Wyoming

Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere

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(907): I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him (307): Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere http://tfl.nu/182x

Replies (4) Good night (1083) Bad night (471)
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(950): View more from

The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.

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(950): The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching. http://tfl.nu/hw3q

Replies (4) Good night (499) Bad night (924)
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(775): View more from Nevada

she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much

(702): View more from Nevada

you puked ON HER

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(775): she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much (702): you puked ON HER http://tfl.nu/qqj0

Replies (7) Good night (385) Bad night (856)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.

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(306): woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize.. (306): also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/t99m

Replies (7) Good night (487) Bad night (215)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.

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(423): In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like. http://tfl.nu/eb14

Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (296)
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(925): View more from California

You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!

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(925): You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here! http://tfl.nu/pvgq

Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (271)

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