WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
