I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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