..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
