Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
