I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
