He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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