She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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