How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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