No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
