There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
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She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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