Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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