Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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