I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
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I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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