Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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