Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
