i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
