So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
