just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
