Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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