I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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