Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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