I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
