the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i need some magic done to my vagina
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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